Opinion: Barrack Should Smell A Little Bit More Like Cheese

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Hillel Weitzman

As most schools do, Barrack strives to have a clean, plain smell throughout its main building. While this fragrance, or lack thereof, can provide comfort and aromatic ease for the Barrack community, I like cheese more.

Obviously, asking the administration to make the whole place smell like cheese is a radical and impossible request, so I am just asking for the building to smell a little more like cheese. Some of my fondest childhood memories are from when there has been a hint of queso in the air. At my Bar Mitzvah, I made sure my parents had placed a slice of Provolone in all of the air vents, just to really make sure the whole congregation felt the magic that a B’nai Mitzvah holds.

What I suggest is done at school is similar. A slice of cheddar in all of the air vents (replaced yearly of course), and a pound of Brie in each classroom. The smell of cheese will fill the halls with the smell of cheese, and fill all of our hearts with happiness. It’s a pretty simple change, and I would argue that Barrack doesn’t care about the student’s happiness if they elect to not make the transition from a cheese-smell free environment.

Of course this change is much less drastic than what was proposed by a Kohelet student a week ago (10 pounds of bleu cheese in every students pants), so I hope the administration will see to it with an open mind. Again, I completely see the logic behind a cheese free fragrance at school, but what’s the point of noses then. God didn’t create the nose to not smell. God created the nose for cheese.

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