Mr. Devlin: Mr. Devlin has finally decided to embark on an entrepreneurial dream he has had for oh too long. He has decided to monetize his sweat. He has been sweating in mason jars, desalinating them, and selling them as Water. He’s still awaiting his first customer, but there is definitely a bright future in Business for Mr. Devlin.
Mrs. Levin: Mrs. Levin has also had herself an eventful summer. She has started collecting newspapers, turning them into paper mache, and bathing in them. Paper mache isn’t really a liquid so it’s unclear how she is going about this, but if anyone can do it – it’s head of school, former AP Gov teacher, and paper enthusiast, Mrs. Levin.
Mrs. Taichman: Mrs. Taichman has had a summer full of beautiful vacation destinations. While her travels have taken her to gorgeous cities like Amsterdam, Saint Petersburg, and Albuquerque, it’s not all fun for Lilach! She is on a mission, a mission to sit criss cross applesauce on every desk in the world. She believes her efforts will bring people one step closer to achieving world peace or universal application of footnote citation. Some call it a heroic dream, some call it a midlife crisis.
Larry: Larry was given off for the summer but decided to stay on campus anyway. He’s spent most of his time in the dining commons stacking the chairs, and then unstacking the chairs, and then stacking the chairs again, and then, again, unstacking the chairs.
Mrs. Underwood: Mundy actually hasn’t left her box yet this summer. She’s locked herself in, and hasn’t told anyone why. The only word we’ve gotten from her is when she’s accidentally turned on the PA system while sleeping and has uttered snarky remarks at made-up late students, and has announced buses arrivals from districts that don’t exist. No one really knows what’s up with her.
Mr. McLaughlin: Mr. McLaughlin has made a major living change this summer. He has decided to uproot his family from their home outside of Philadelphia and move to West Egg. The McLaughlins couldn’t afford the rent for the Gatsby Mansion, so they have agreed to a modest lifestyle in Nick’s house. He has forced his wife to bleach her hair blonde, and has only referred to his toddler son as “Klipspringer”. He has also spray painted his car yellow, and has adopted the hobby of running over pedestrians.